Wow, this made me sad

So Jeff and I went out tonight with our friend Bryan, unusual for us, as I normally have to work on Sat. Mornings, but tomorrow I don't, and we went to Humble Pie, a very cool resteraunt/ bar, with excellent outdoor seating, (because, as NC is want to do, in the Spring, it's beautiful in the evenings right now, being Spring) and great service too, so, we went there, and we talked about derogatory phrases like "She's easy" and how good the last Spoon album was ( the boys just went to see Spoon play on Sunday) and the excruciating-ness of applying for new jobs when you already have one that has no idea you are leaving and whatnot, whatever, and amen. So. We went to this bar called Havana's on Glenwood South, (the happening nigh time scene in Raleigh) which Daniel (my boy) and I used to haunt in our alcoholic summer/ year and I had not been back in some time. I thought it was safe, safe from Raleigh ghosts and the whatnot, and the who not, and the godahthaveidonenot, but it wasn't. I ran into Aaron, or BAJA (Big-Ass-Head-Aaron) a guy that I rode to the SAT's with, listening to Jawbreaker's 24 Hour Revenge Therapy him saying to me about how they were this great band and I was like yeah yeah yeah, I got this album on vinyl (and for once it was true) and we rocked out on the way to take a test that was deciding our futures. We took the SATs, he went to one high school, I went to another, he got accepted at Evergree, in Olympia, WA, I got my scholarship to Guilford, end of story, right? Except not, as Raleigh is, he flunked out, I left Guilford, we both returned to Raleigh, desperate, unhappy, afraid, and meant different fates. He had a kid, 2 and a half years ago, a boy named Noble, (hoe effin great is that), but he hates the mother they fight, and he met me in a bar tonight, drunk, ridiculous, in cowboy hat and sunglasses ("You know who wears sunglasses indoors? Blind people and assholes.") talking about his baby boy, then talking about how he wants a little girl. Then two breaths later he sayes."I'm gonna go so drugs.", and he leaves. I'm overcome with something right now, something awful and contagious, like the Raleigh flu, or the failure flu, and I want to cry out against it, strike my hands against this awful metallic beast that holds us back and ask why?