So I'm in the unique position as a manager of a used media store to see the stuff folks are buying and selling. Though we are inundated with the absurd and the bizarre on a daily basis, I thought I'd share some of the finer moments in my tenure at the store.
Things People Bought.
1) Full House the Complete First Season.
Now this may not seem funny on the outset to you, but what has always killed me about this is the hubris I employed when I stated upon it's arrival, "Oh My God, no one is EVER going to buy this shit. They replay those fucking shows like ten times a day on TNT not to mention it's like the worst show ever." I put it out on the floor and twenty minutes later some sad sack brought it up to the counter and bought whilst I was having a complete conniption fit.
2) Clay Aiken's "Auto-biography". It was a "straight" guy in a polo.
3) Undercover Babies.
Picture babies in trench coats yielding handguns. Not really but still it's pretty ridiculous. Not found in the humor section, btw, but the romance section. My favorite part? The caption highlighting that these are "Top Secret Babies".
4) Macully Culkin's "novel" Junior. This happened just the other day. I, yet again, challenged the Gods when I said, while pricing it, "Who the fuck wants to read a novel by that Schmohawk?" Apparently women unhappy in there lives.
5) Some movies that we sell consistently that make me ponder the collective intelligence of the public; Zeus and Roxanne, Six Days, Seven Nights, Gigli, Dunston Checks In, Left Behind: The Movie, Left Behind II, Chairman of the Board, From Justin To Kelly, Baby Geniuses, Son of the Mask.
You get the idea.
Things People Sold.
Sometimes when you are processing the merchandise of a particular customer you catch an intimate glimpse into their psyche. Personally, I wish this happened less often. Take the case of the newly divorced forty-ish year old woman. Books brought to be sold included:
Intimacy in Long Marriage: Sustaining the Passion for Years to Come.
365 Things to Do in Bed to Spice Up Your Love Life
Healing the Rift: Overcoming Distance in Your Marriage.
Is He Cheating On You? The Way to Know Without Asking.
Love Hurts: How to Forgive Infidelity.
The North Carolina Guide to Divorce.
Children and Divorce: Beyond the "It's Not Your Fault" Philosophy.
Single After So Many Years: The Woman's Guide to Dating after Divorce.
Yikes!
2) sometimes it's not what you sell but what you bring it in. Like Kitty Litter boxes. Not Completely cleaned out of litter. One day it happened twice in a row. Seriously.
3) Personal journals. I have no idea what compels people to try to sell their journals but it happens all the time. Sometimes it's those layman's psychology inspirational crap that people only partly fill out. Like this one that asks you a series of questions that you answer by maing lists. Questions inlcude;
Q:What is something about you that no one knows?
A: I use the word niger. [sic]
Things People Bought.
1) Full House the Complete First Season.
Now this may not seem funny on the outset to you, but what has always killed me about this is the hubris I employed when I stated upon it's arrival, "Oh My God, no one is EVER going to buy this shit. They replay those fucking shows like ten times a day on TNT not to mention it's like the worst show ever." I put it out on the floor and twenty minutes later some sad sack brought it up to the counter and bought whilst I was having a complete conniption fit.
2) Clay Aiken's "Auto-biography". It was a "straight" guy in a polo.
3) Undercover Babies.
Picture babies in trench coats yielding handguns. Not really but still it's pretty ridiculous. Not found in the humor section, btw, but the romance section. My favorite part? The caption highlighting that these are "Top Secret Babies".
4) Macully Culkin's "novel" Junior. This happened just the other day. I, yet again, challenged the Gods when I said, while pricing it, "Who the fuck wants to read a novel by that Schmohawk?" Apparently women unhappy in there lives.
5) Some movies that we sell consistently that make me ponder the collective intelligence of the public; Zeus and Roxanne, Six Days, Seven Nights, Gigli, Dunston Checks In, Left Behind: The Movie, Left Behind II, Chairman of the Board, From Justin To Kelly, Baby Geniuses, Son of the Mask.
You get the idea.
Things People Sold.
Sometimes when you are processing the merchandise of a particular customer you catch an intimate glimpse into their psyche. Personally, I wish this happened less often. Take the case of the newly divorced forty-ish year old woman. Books brought to be sold included:
Intimacy in Long Marriage: Sustaining the Passion for Years to Come.
365 Things to Do in Bed to Spice Up Your Love Life
Healing the Rift: Overcoming Distance in Your Marriage.
Is He Cheating On You? The Way to Know Without Asking.
Love Hurts: How to Forgive Infidelity.
The North Carolina Guide to Divorce.
Children and Divorce: Beyond the "It's Not Your Fault" Philosophy.
Single After So Many Years: The Woman's Guide to Dating after Divorce.
Yikes!
2) sometimes it's not what you sell but what you bring it in. Like Kitty Litter boxes. Not Completely cleaned out of litter. One day it happened twice in a row. Seriously.
3) Personal journals. I have no idea what compels people to try to sell their journals but it happens all the time. Sometimes it's those layman's psychology inspirational crap that people only partly fill out. Like this one that asks you a series of questions that you answer by maing lists. Questions inlcude;
Q:What is something about you that no one knows?
A: I use the word niger. [sic]
Q: What is something you've always wanted to do?
A: Drink blood
Q: What are your goals for the next year.
A: Live a Gothic lifestyle.
A: Live a Gothic lifestyle.
Q: What are some long term goals?
A: Get some education, live a gothic lifestyle, stop sucking dick, improve my handwriting.
Double Yikes! Glad to see that improved handwriting was right up there with "stop sucking dick"
2 comments:
I also use the word Niger. In at least 10% of my discussions about Africa.
Oh, and I still can't get over the fact that Dunston Checks In had Faye Dunaway in it.
holy shit! I forgot that stop sucking dicks was on that list. little does she know that sucking dicks is like the third step in the gothic lifestyle induction ceremony.
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