Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Wedding Disaster number 4778

So.
Things that should not transpire in a phone call about Rehearsal Dinner:
1) No one parents should be labeled "cheap" for not being able to afford another person's vision.
2) No one should attack the groom to be b/c they are mad at his parents.
3) No one should forget that the groom to be, when taken out for his birthday by his future in-laws, offered to pay and then thanked the future in-laws copiously.
4) Some people should stop bringing up the bride's weight every fucking minute to avoid driving her to self loathing and impossible expectations.
5) No one should have to explain that "can't afford it" means "doesn't make money like you do"
6) No one should then recite a litany of instances when the future in laws paid for the future son-in-law (five over three years) and then be told he isn't grateful and acts like "it's just expected"
7) No one should call their mom a fucking asshole three times and then hang up.
8) No one should feel this miserable about getting married so maybe it's understandable that someone called someone else and told them that they don't want their help if it's going to be like this.
Ready to elope.

1 comment:

Sara J. Allen said...

Oh dear. Why does this seem to happen in some form at every wedding? They bring out the worst. They bring out the best. They bring out people's control issues and jealousies and generosity. It's just hard to guess what's coming next.

It does seem to be the exchange/possession/having/not having of money that triggers these problems.

I once went to a wedding in GA on July 4th where the wealthy farmer parents of the bride insisted on having the wedding on their farm. They built a large barn, although the bride and groom begged for a reception hall with AC realizing how insane this building a barn plan was, especially when half the guests were from the UK. You can see where this is going. 101 degree heat. Bugs. Sweating. Running out of water. MOB in a brocade suite that I considered to be her personal punishment for not listening to her daughter's wishes. Did I mention the wedding was dry, and I have never seen such a sorry bunch of Brits in my life? The one thing I take from that wedding is the image of the bride and groom dancing under the buzzing fluorescent lights installed by the FOB, the bottom of her dress coated in mud (that's what happens when 100 people walk around in the same grass for four hours). You could see that they were really in love, and that if they could survive their wedding, they could survive anything.

So there you are. When you hit crap like what your describing, just isolate yourself with future hubby and don't answer the phone. I know it's easier said than done, but if there are strings attached, try to turn down the money. Or spend every cent on exotic orchids in a color that the financiers hate and ignore the nonsense.